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There are 16 players in the draft worth taking in the 1st round

Comparing draft players to TV characters because why not

NCAA Football: ACC Championship-Clemson vs Virginia Tech Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

I usually come up with some ridiculous ideas. 2 years ago it was comparing guys to Kanye. Last year it was to cities. This year? TV Characters with the help of my good pal Matt Bowe. Football is a sport that shouldn’t be taken seriously by us and this is just another example of that. It should be fun. It should be silly. So that’s what I’m doing. The character might be a drug-lord, alcoholic, mob boss, etc. No, I’m not calling the young man that. Grow up. There are 16 players that I would take in the first round. Their positional value might not warrant them getting a massive contract, but I’m not talking about that right now. I’m just talking about the best players, period. I’ll compare them to a character and give you their signature play of last season in my opinion.

16. Justin Reid, safety, Stanford

Jesse Pinkman-Breaking Bad

These two are linked together as Reid is a high energy, jittery even, player that will be on the other side of the field and chase the running back down because he can. His energy is contagious. Much like Jesse, who seemed like he was always running and trying to avoid trouble. Jesse would run into things. Look over his shoulder running away from people. Was always on the move. Reid has shown he can come downhill and avoid blockers, but turn and run and go get the ball as well. Reid has the smarts and athleticism to be a much better pro than collegiate.

He had some high quality plays but this one shows his strength and how he does whatever it takes to get to where he needs.

15. Roquan Smith, linebacker, Georgia


Like Barry Allen, Roquan Smith has been given the power of super speed. Roquan is well aware of his gifts and uses them to his advantage. I’m a little lower on him as his take on skills are below average and in short yardage situations that will show it’s face. Still, in coverage, getting sideline to sideline, he can get there in a...flash.

14. Saquon Barkley, running back, Penn State

Michael Scott, the Office

Barkley has as many highlight plays as Michael Scott has memes and quotes. You can’t watch an episode without him saying something ridiculously stupid just like you can’t watch a game without Barkley doing something ridiculously stupid. Is he one of the most overrated characters of all-time? Hmmm. Barkley has obvious flaws that for whatever reason are swept under the rug. He’s far from perfect and I’d be shocked if he reaches that level of some of the players he’s being compared to. Ladainian Tomlinson, Marshall Faulk, Barry Sanders, to name a few. He’s more Matt Forte, and there’s nothing wrong with that. He has obvious value, just like Michael Scott.

This is the play that really captures Barkley and what he brings to the next level. Flashy catch, change of direction and burst that only he can do. Electric.

13. Isaiah Wynn, OT, Georgia

Ron Swanson, Parks & Rec

The show doesn’t work without Swanson like your line doesn’t work without Wynn. Both are just really, really good. They keep to themselves. You might not notice them all the time, but when you do, it’s gold. If you told me Wynn has gold buried in his backyard because he doesn’t trust the government, I’d believe you. Swanson is a handy kinda guy that can fix anything. You can probably plug Wynn in at a few different positions and instantly fix your offensive line, too. Both are all meat and potatoes kinda guys. Get those veggies outta here. Wynn doesn’t have the mustache, but the beard is there. Don’t sleep on Wynn.

12. Isaiah Oliver, CB, Colorado

Inspector Gadget

I feel like this is too low for Oliver and can easily see him on another former Colorado corners trajectory as a top 5 corner in the league in Jimmy Smith. Oliver has arms that are forever extending and can bail him out even when he’s beat. Some of the plays he was able to make the last couple years would make Inspector Gadget proud, because he’s the only other person who’d be able to make them. Oliver has everything you want at the position and should be in the discussion early in the first round.

Oliver had plenty of plays to show off his athleticism but I want to show you his technique and craftiness. So you see the patience then how he can get his hands on you to reroute you just enough. He has a knack for pinning receivers to the sideline.

He’s playing the receivers eyes and turns his head at the last minute to find the ball. A lot of times when corners go to look they don’t “lean and locate”, which creates separation. Oliver does that to perfection here. Not only that, he sneaks his left arm in and the receiver can’t get his right arm up. Such a beautiful play.

11. Bradley Chubb, edge rusher, North Carolina State

Tony Soprano

Soprano ran his business in a way that was straight-forward and quiet and tried to come off as humble. That made him very rich. When it came time to work it could be done very violently and he or his goons would not hesitate to execute. That’s a lot like NC State’s defensive line last year, and Chubb was the leader. Chubb has some explosiveness and his hand usage is above average that you can tell he’s going to be good. But how good? Will his shortcomings do him in like it did Tony? Chubb had the production, but you’re always left wanting more. Tony was in his own head and it affected his marriage and parenting as well. With Chubb, there’s questions still. Both have good instincts that could take them very far.

10. Minkah Fitzpatrick, safety, Alabama


Like Minkah, Dexter is mild-mannered, sort of quirky, and can fit in anywhere. Nick Saban has often praised Fitzpatrick as being one of the most studious players he’s been around. It shows on the field. Both he and Dexter are clearly smart and they put a lot of thought into their craft. One of trying to kill the opposing offenses drive the other is trying to kill a human. Some say he’s too smart for his own good and he gets bored. Minkah can fit in anywhere but can he excel anywhere? That’s the question many are asking.

9. Rashaan Evans, LB, Alabama

The Hound, Game of Thrones

There’s not much for me to say about Evans that I already haven’t. I compare him to The Hound as he’s a great fighter that will give hell to anyone big or small. Obnoxiously violent. Not really here for the BS.

8) Lamar Jackson, QB, Louisville

Marius, Sneaky Pete

Like Evans, there’s not much that I need to say that I already haven’t said. Marius can escape any situation using his mind to out smart people. He can also talk his way out of anything, much like Lamar can play his way out of any trouble. Marius is great at achieving his goals. Lamar won a Heisman and we still haven’t seen his best football yet.

7) Sony Michel, RB, Georgia

Jordan Peele

Everyone knows Sony can play. It’s figuring out just how talented he is. Peele was often in the shadow of his partner, much like Michel. The duo was really good, but for Peele to truly be the best version of himself, he had to step away from that duo. With Michel, I see the same thing happening. Peele gave us Get out in his rookie year. The future is bright for him. Michel is that talented and should give us a terrific rookie season and beyond that as well. He brings a lot to the table and I don’t think we’ll know until he’s on his own. He has all the traits needed to be successful.

6) Harold Landry, edge rusher, Boston College

Jessica Jones

Landry is highly athletic with tremendous flexibility and can fly around the edge. Jessica Jones can literally fly and you can see how quick she is when she fits. Jones is reluctant to use her power, much like Landry. When Landry does use it, as you’ll see below, it’s devastating. Landry in 2016 was a terror. Damn near unblockable. He wasn’t bad this year and I’m not sure where that’s coming from. If I needed to get after the quarterback, I’m taking Landry before any edge rusher.

5) Quenton Nelson, guard, Notre Dame

Luke Cage

A straight-edge mauler that you just do not get the best of. You don’t. That’s Cage. That’s Nelson. He’s not the best in the draft because there are legit questions about him in space and against better athletes. But in the trenches, it doesn’t get better than Nelson.

4) Derwin James, safety, Florida State,

Ari Gold, Entourage

Eccentric but commands your attention the minute he steps into the room. Alpha. Asshole. Aggressive. You might not like him but you’re going to respect him. How can’t you with what he’s done? Whatever he does, he’s good at it. This is Derwin James. If you want to change the culture of your defense, grab Derwin. Like Ari, wherever he plays, he excels at.

3) Denzel Ward, CB, Ohio State

Omar, The Wire

Ward isn’t just a world-class athlete, he’s a sneaky big hitter. One of the most popular TV characters ever and no surprise it’s coming from Ohio State. He has the conidence to win against anyone. Omar stayed in the shadows to make a play. Ward will stay in your hip pocket and when the ball comes his way, it’s his. He robs receivers of catches like Omar did drug dealers.

2) Maurice Hurst, DT, Michigan

Kramer, Seinfield

I’m not sure which one is quicker, Kramer firing back crazy ideas or Hurst getting into the backfield. Hurst busts in the backfield like Kramer bursts through the door. Both are lunatics in their respective fields. Both are also a bit misunderstood. Hurst will prove each and every doubter wrong. He’s a monster.

1) Derrius Guice, RB, LSU

Jax Teller, Sons of Anarchy

I don’t know if Guice has a tattoo of his dad like Jax does. I do know he’s a bad ass like Jax is. Both are violent in their own ways. The police department struggled to bring Teller down. Much like defenders did with Guice. A background that might turn some people off but he’s an obvious leader. He’s the man. To me, Guice will be the best player in the draft.