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BFTB Staff Wing Eating Competition

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Football things finally start back up next week, here’s our last expression of boredom.

Philadelphia Hosts The 17th Annual Wing Bowl Photo by William Thomas Cain/Getty Images

The dead period before the start of training camp is finally coming to an end. The Chargers report to camp this weekend and Training Camp starts next week. Finally we will be back to real football happening.

So to do something a little different during this last boring week, we are going to do a staff wing eating competition.

The rules are:

  • Everyone buys 40 boneless wings (preferably from Buffalo Wild Wings).
  • Each contestant gets to pick whatever sauce they want (it’s about speed and numbers, not heat)
  • Time will be 30 minutes
  • Whoever eats the most in those 30 minutes, or finishes first, wins.

Pretty simple, and should be fun. We are going to live stream the competition, like we did with the live draft show. We will be going live about 6:30PM PST tomorrow, Thursday the 27th of July.

Here are the contestants:

Matthew Stanley - 29 yrs old, 6'0, 290lbs

I am a picky eater, but I love the foods that I do eat. And I eat them well. I would say my food role models are Joey Tribbiani and Ron Swanson.

Favorite Food Quote - "Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait...wait. I worry what you just heard was: 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.' What I said was: 'Give me all the bacon and eggs that you have.' Do you understand?" - Ron Swanson.

Jason Michaels - 32 years old, 6'2" 245lbs

I have an illustrious history of gastronomical gymnastics. Not being particularly gifted in athletics, not incredibly handsome or personable, nor able to hold a tune to save my life, food was my outlet to compose my finest symphonies. Not making food-- no. But by holding food olympics in the food court each day. One of my favorites was 'how many saltines can you swallow in 2 minutes.. with no liquids.' Oh sure, it sounds easy- but try it. You'll see. The record was 7.

Favorite Food Quote: "What about elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he? "

Michael Peterson - 6'3 230lbs

Light eating competition experience from Linemen Competitions in high school. I'm sensually stimulated at the site of donuts. Forever justifying one more bite. I'm usually the guy who takes other people's food home because I cannot stand when it is wasted.

"What do you mean you aren't taking that Mac n' Cheese home? It was 15 dollars and has like six cheeses on it. Give me that." - Me

Max Schultz - 35, 5'9" 205lbs

Other than good ol' American overeating, Max doesn't bring much competitive experience to this competition. Depression-era logic always drove his mother to tell him to finish his plate, but idea of having to pay for unfinished food at most restaurant eating challenges always kept Max's cheap ass from giving it a go. Once did the Habanero Fritter challenge at Salvador Molly's, but regrets the experience to this day. The kind of regret that is only born from having a stomach full of molten soup that refuses to up or down and makes you regret moving lest it scorch some untouched portion of your stomach.

Favorite food quote: (When eating hot things) I can already tell my insides are going to say fuck this before the night is over.

Daniel Stebbins - 5'9" 169 lbs

Like Max, I was raised under the "finish your plate" mentality which didn't exactly pair well with always putting far too much food on said plate. Match that with a love of fast food and it's safe to say I've enjoyed more than my fair share of food in my life. I've lost over 50 pounds in the last 7 months or so, but I sure didn't lose my appetite. Never any eating competition history, unless eating until you hate yourself and your decisions counts.

Food quote: Ron Swanson (like others) "I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food."

Nathan Graber-Lipperman - 18 years old, 6'3, 168 lbs

Given I'm a carbon copy of my 6'3, 160-lb dad, my destiny was always to be a similarly-built twig. After hearing about the competition, I felt the need to inspire all my skinny guys out there that yes, we can eat unhealthy amounts of food just like our bigger-bodied friends. The best part: it will be right after I play two straight hours of ultimate, so my fast metabolism and I will be all set and ready to go!

Favorite food quote - "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes." - Douglas Adams

Garrett Sisti will play host so you guys don’t just have to watch and listen to us eat.