Instead, we got a defensive domination by a division rival, trading the sheer fun of watching Happy Cam dab on opponents for Sad Cam sulking through press conferences.
Seriously, Super Bowl 50 stunk. It was borderline unwatchable. The most exciting moment was when Cam Newton decided not to put his career in jeopardy and skipped the scrum resulting from Von Miller’s strip sack.
But hope springs eternal! For those of you who still have some inkling of interest with the NFL, remember the last three times the Patriots have been in the Super Bowl?
Super Bowl 49 came down to the wire, with Jermaine Kearse making one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history. Pete Carroll followed this up with one of the most controversial calls of all time, opting to throw instead of feed Beast Mode and resulting in the now-infamous Malcom Butler interception.
Super Bowl 46 was the rematch everyone wanted: Giants-Pats V2. Again, Brady came up short against Eli Manning with another amazing Giants catch, this time courtesy of Mario Manningham.
And of course, Super Bowl 42. I’ll always remember this one because I think it’s the first Super Bowl I stayed up to watch in its entirety. The Helmet Catch is, undoubtedly, the best catch in Super Bowl history.
Notice a common theme? The Patriots always seem to play really close Super Bowls, and spectacular plays ingrained in sport’s history have a knack of occurring.
This year, the best scoring offense faces the third-best, as the Falcons look for their first championship win in franchise history. They’ll have to get through the Evil Empire, as Darth Hoodie and the unstoppable robot known as Tom Brady have appeared in yet another Super Bowl—the most in NFL history, to be more specific.
The Pats are opening as the favorites down in Vegas; as of 12:55 PM today, they’re favored by 3 points. The line for total points scored, though, is where the fun really starts, as the current over/under stands at 59 points. At points throughout the day, the number has even risen over 60!
You know what they say about Vegas. The guys setting the lines seem to know what they’re doing most of the time. That’s why, just to screw with us, I wouldn’t be surprised if the game ends up being a defensive slug-fest. Hopefully, this notion will be put to rest, because we cannot risk another yawn-inducing game after those two blowout conference championships.
Are you going to be watching the Super Bowl? Are you completely turned off by the NFL? Let me know in the comments below if you think this game will be as high-scoring, pass-happy, and overall great as I think it will be.