In the spirit of the holiday, which is more about being together as a family than anything, I decided to compare some of the most delicious food from the Thanksgiving season (and my opinions on them) to Chargers players. And no, ham is not a traditional Thanksgiving meal... gosh. Enjoy!
Thought about putting Max Tuerk here... for obvious reasons... but could this really be anything other than Philip Rivers? The real centerpiece of the San Diego Chargers compares well to a turkey. He also happens to mirror their grace as well. I was going to compare their speed, but Turkey could outrun Philip Rivers in a foot... clawrace pretty easily.
Melvin Gordon has to be the stuffing. Disclaimer: I do not like stuffing, but I do like Melvin Gordon. My reasoning behind this is that some consider stuffing to be the best part about the thanksgiving meal and that it really carries the load and is easily a staple on every plate (whether you like it or not), so Melvin Gordon, as the bell cow for the Chargers, is the stuffing.
Who doesn't love some good Mashed Potatoes? Easily an unsung hero of the Thanksgiving meal, Mashed Potatoes are crucial. Who else is crucial? Josh Lambo. Don’t really notice him so much when he does his job, but if he wasn't there, would you notice? Damn right you would. Next!
Literally a necessity, and it runs rampant across your plate unless you have some good barriers put up, I’m going to have to compare gravy to Keenan Allen and Tyrell Williams. Makes me want to cry a little bit because I haven’t seen any of that gravy (Keenan Allen) since week one, and all the games have been a little drier because of it.
Not everyone likes them, but some people love them. Easily always the best with some butter and pepper on them. I think they compare to the trenches pretty well. Not everyone wants to play those positions, but they are crucial, and some people love being a lineman. How many green beans would it take to equal the weight of King Dunlap? Roughly 29988 green beans. Yes, I wasted some of my life calculating that.
I love corn. Who doesn’t love corn? Joey Bosa is my corn this thanksgiving, and it’s because when corn is good, it’s real good. When corn is bad, it’s awful. While you have to wait a while to eat corn (shucking them, and grilling them), but when you have corn, it’s bomb. Just like Joey Bosa.
If sweet potatoes are made right, and by right, I mean with some cinnamon and sugar, they are damn good.
If they aren’t made right, they might leave a bad taste in your mouth. Just like an MLB. Kind of like Denzel Perryman. I’m sure that man eats his Sweet Potatoes, but I doubt it’s with as much junk in them as I put in there. By the way, the nasty sweet potatoes I’m talking about? Think Manti Te’o. Overrated, someone told you they were really good so you believed them, but once you had them, you realized that it was all a hoax.
Not for everyone, and every thanksgiving celebration I’ve gone to has always had them in a weird can shape. Wonder what that’s about.
Some people love cranberry sauce, some people don’t. Can really go either way. Like Drew Kaser.
Another staple of the thanksgiving meal, Rolls can be used to soak up the gravy, butter, corn juice, or anything else on your plate. Also, since they are so light, you eat way too many of them, and you end up having to walk off your food baby to leave room for the pie. I’m going to compare rolls to the Tight Ends. They are there to mop up the mess made by the turkey, gravy, and everything else, and for those of you who don’t like any of the food up above, you could say they’re sort of a safety net. Weird... that sounds like a TE.
Some people would argue this is the best part of the meal, and since they come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors, and are the main sweet part of the meal, I’m going to have to compare pies to the Undrafted gems. Generally never signed to be the saviors of a team, they have to carve their way to a bigger role, and some of the league’s most exciting players come from undrafted status. In a cutthroat league, the sweet part is that some people are able to cling on and make it when no one thought they would. Pies included: Danny Woodhead, Antonio Gates, and many others.
The best part about thanksgiving is reclining, full of food, and watching football with family. The best part about writing for BFTB is interacting with the family we’ve created here. While we don’t always agree, and many of you make sure that it’s heard in the comments, we do appreciate you, the readers.
Happy Thanksgiving, stay safe everyone!