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The San Diego Chargers will win against the Green Bay Packers

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If the San Diego Chargers pull off the upset against the Green Bay Packers this weekend, these three reasons will be why it happens.

Remember when these guys liked each other?
Remember when these guys liked each other?
Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Melvin Gordon

He's going to break out with a big game at some point, right? He has to. We've seen too many amazing plays from Gordon for the numbers to not start catching up sometime soon.

Todd Gurley, who was the only RB drafted above Melvin Gordon in this year's draft, ran the ball 30 times for 159 yards against the Packers defense last week. Outside of "the Packers may adjust their scheme", I can't think of many good reasons why the San Diego Chargers and Melvin Gordon couldn't produce similar stats (and big plays) with a dedication to the ground game on Sunday at Lambeau Field.

Aaron Rodgers

I know what you're thinking.

"That says 'Aaron Rodgers'. There's no way the best player in the NFL is going to help the Chargers win this game, right?"

Well, right.

Hold on, because we're about to go to a very dark place.

(Author's Note: I would never actually root for a player to get injured and that is not what is about to happen.)

Aaron Rodgers is not quite as careful as he should be. He runs the ball a little too much, thinks he has a little bit too much time to get out of bounds, etc. If we were Packers fans, this would drive us nuts, especially with Scott Tolzien as the backup QB.

This has, occasionally, led to injury. Over the last five seasons, Rodgers has missed nine regular season games. Not all of those can be Week 17 games where the team has already clinched the bye week, that math doesn't compute, so we can safely assume that Rodgers is capable of getting injured from a big hit.

If Rocky going to the USSR, beating Ivan Drago, and ending the Cold War has taught us anything, it's that Aaron Rodgers is not a machine. He's a man! As long as the Chargers chase chickens to prepare for this game, and go into it with the heart of a champion and the eye of the tiger, they too can end the Cold War!

Wait.

What?

Where am I?

The Sun Diago Churgers

I swear that's not a typo. Follow me as I descend into madness for a minute.

The Chargers are probably going to lose this game. They are a 9.5 point underdog! That's embarrassing, or at least it should be, for the entire Chargers organization.

There is only one thing that they can do to win this game: Burn it down. Burn it all down!

Erase the playbooks and start over. Re-think the depth charts. Stop giving guys second and third and fourth chances to prove to you that they're worth a damn (they're not!).

Re-think the offensive strategy. Let Mike McCoy save his job by calling the plays.

Re-think the defensive strategy, and have McCoy tell Pagano that he's fired if the team can't find a way to actually tackle somebody this week.

Oh, and while you're at it, it's probably about time for Mike McCoy to apologize to Eric Weddle for that garbage at Mini Camp. If this team is going to beat the Packers, they're going to need their best defensive player to be all in.

What I want, more than anything else, is to hear Phil Simms says "I have no idea what the Chargers are doing because we haven't seen this from them once this year. They've thrown out the playbook and are starting over!"

The only way the Chargers win this game is with the element of surprise. They're outmanned, but they can confuse the Packers into making just enough mistakes to make it a game. Then, all Mike McCoy has to do is throw out his own game management playbook, forget about punting and field goals as primary options, and get aggressive. He needs to admit, before the game starts, that a conservative decision will only give the Packers another chance to win this game.

I don't want to see the San Diego Chargers on Sunday. That team will lose to the Green Bay Packers. The team I want to see is the Sun Diago Churgers. They'll look the same, wear the same uniforms and have the same players, but they'll be unlike anything we've seen from this franchise in decades and the Packers won't know how to handle it.