Danny Woodhead is my favorite player in NFL. He works harder than any one. Hes the most humble person in the whole world on every subject including being humble, and he just seems like a all-around guy that would be cool to catch a hang with or just kind've talk football. Thats why Im writing a series called "The Book of Woodhead" to explain to America what a all-start human being Danny Woodhead is and why hes my favorite player in NFL.
Trigger warning: If you dont like stories about Danny Woodhead is good, then you shouldnt read this.
When we last left smalltown worker bee Danny Woodhead he was celebrating getting the oppotunity to play football in college. Pop quiz: While Danny was at Chadron State do you think he ever tryed to start a Union? The only Union Dannys ever been comfortable arounds the Union Paficic which just happens to run through his old home town. Yessir yessir, North Platte Nebraska is a rail road town which is just so ironic that its basically been getting a train run on it by corporate America for the past hundred years. Yessir Danny was more concerned about being a teammate then a teamster- thats the diffrence between going to school at Northwestern and in Northwestern Nebraska right there folks.
But Chadron State is located in a wholesome town where the high school kids are so bored there more likely to play a game of limp biscuit and butt-funnel cattle dewormer for a cheap buzz then they are playing in a football game. The average life span is probably 44 do to the all fried diets they use and rapid cosumpton of rubbing alcohol,, so yes technically they all have a full heart and clear eyes but its not exactly a Friday Night Lights town. The day Danny arrived on campus he made the biggest impact on the quality of life in Chadron since the arrival of the fleshlight fokls.
Chadron State is the Harvard of divison-two southern Nebraska colleges that start with a consonant, so its no wonder he plays with a Ryan Fitzpatrick like command of the the game. I like to have fun with it and say that some runningbacks are All-Stats and some are Allstotts. Quess which one Danny was? Both. Lets take a look at the numbers from college:
HE RAN FOR 1,840 YARDS AS A TRUE FRESHMEN AND DID IT SOMEHOW WITHOUT PUTTING HIS HOMETOWN ZIPCODE ON HIS EYEBLACK
After that they said "tell you what Danny I know your more of a handoff then handout type guy but we'd like to give you the first scholarship we've ever given any one." Danny reluctantly said yes because he knew that its rude to decline a gift.
His junior year (this is not a typo Im going to make sure I get my facts and spelling straight here) Danny Woodhead rushed for 2,740 yards through 12 games. He averaged 228 yards per game. Despite having the same ypg number as Chris Jonsons SAT, Danny still didnt get any offers to move up to D1. But that didnt confront Danny none. He had his pregame traditon of measuring the football field and the up rights before every game just to prove to himself the game was the exact same as across the yonder cornfields at D1 NebrASSka.
And yes Danny won the D2 Harlon trophy twice. Funny how they call it the Highs Man for D1 when they insist on giving it to dopes like Vince Youngs and J'ameis Winstons. He got his first Harlon after his Junor season,, the Division 2 folks insisted on giving Danny a individual award even though he would go on to pull a Forrest Gump and basically threw it over the gates of the NCAA by going ahead and winning it again the next year. The best part? Danny didnt need some fancy me-first look to claim the trophy,, matter fact he wore the exact same classic tux for back to back years fokls:
Love how he just went with the plain white buttons- story of Dannys life really= somtimes simple white is just as effective as black studs not in a racist way.
Again, Danny allways contributed to his team enough to advance them to the playoffs but was gracous enough to let other teams beat them and have there shot at the limelight. Maybe if D2 had adpoted the D1s sensible method of having computers, rival coaches, and sponsors select the postseason teams Danny might of been able to bring home a title to North Platte at some point.
When all was said and done Danny finished with the 2nd most alltime yards in College history finishing olny behind some quitter named Barry Sanders. Danny was smart to not get the extra 200 yds that would of made him the alltime leader because as everyone knows, football players are born with a finite number of yards in them like girls only have so many eggs, so by concerving those extra 200 yds for his pro career, Danny made sure that he would still have high ovulation-value at the next level. Theres a reason they call it a uterUS not a uterME folks.
Once again Danny demonstrated more proof then an ounce of Irsays blood but on draft day he just sat waiting by the phone for a call that would never come. It was a bigger disgrace that he went undrafted then Bill Clinton folks.
Maybe Danny was just to small to play in the pros.
Maybe his collar was just to blue in a game thats all about the green.
Maybe NFL coaches arent exactly the geniuses there made out to be just because they know the exact right amount to yell at a guy to make him willing to hurt himself so that his owner can make a bunch of money from fans who will pay whatever there asked.
No, never mind, definitely not that last one. Danny didnt get drafted- thats the point here,, but little did he know what the next stage of his career would bring folks...