Having recently fallen through the world, I have injured my knee. So, obviously, I began to think about what pieces the San Diego Chargers need to build themselves into a dynasty that will stand the test of time. If I had not dropped through the earth, I would have thought more about how Vladimir Putin looks disturbingly like Dobby the House Elf from the Harry Potter movies.
The Chargers need a young core of elite players. It is very trendy in the NFL right now to follow the Seahawks’ model, and rightly so. They have a great group of young players and snappy new uniforms designed, evidently, by the dyslexic brother of the man who designed the British police rain gear. What’s not to love? The Chargers have made the first tentative steps in that direction. In fact, if all of the "potential" players or under-performers played to their ability the team would be well on their way to following this model, only with uniforms less likely to cause seizures at high speeds.
A new stadium wouldn’t hurt. It won’t make the team perform better but it will enable the players to think about the game rather than whether they face dismemberment or death at the whim of falling plaster or irate plumbing. It will also ease the minds of the fans who don’t want to be crushed by rubble or electrocuted by a faulty Filippi’s Pizza Grotto sign on the way to what passes for bathrooms.
A coach who knows how to get the most out of his players and isn’t afraid to cry would help. Bill Belichick had his tear ducts removed around the time his excitability glands ruptured and were replaced by the Snarkiness 3000 automatic hostility machine, but I’m sure he would cry if he could. McCoy has done a decent job in his first year, but there’s a long way to go. I worry about John Pagano, to be honest, in this regard. I’m sure the man knows how to cry, but can he really get the most out of his players and put them in a position to succeed? I have no idea. He knows more than me about defense but probably less about the mating habits of the Red Sided Garter Snake. Seriously, look it up, Those snakes are just nasty.
A team also needs an owner who’s not afraid to spend money. Judging by the fact the Chargers are consistently in the top 10 teams as far as salary cap spending I don’t think that’s much of an issue. What could be an issue is Mark Fabiani. Mark’s probably a great guy but he’s been the "stadium point man" for going on 12 years now. What does he do? I mean, honestly? What? For a stadium point man to go on twelve years with no stadium seems kind of like someone’s become a milk man. If I were to hire someone to produce something for me and they failed to do so I would think, especially after 12 years, maybe something was amiss. At least we know Spanos has patience. He kept A.J. Smith around long after he’d become jaded and bitter like a pit viper on anabolic steroids and he kept Norv around even though Turner grew more puzzled after each game.
A good quarterback is a necessity. Russell Wilson is a decent quarterback, Joe Montana was great for years and Tom Brady has fantastic hair, but do the Chargers have a dynasty quarterback? Well, even though the team recently lost the founder of football in Charlie Whitehurst, El Capitan is good, too. Although he’s not getting any younger, he’s still not half-robot like Peyton Manning, so there’s that.
Do the Chargers have what it takes to create a dynasty? I have no idea, I never watched the show. But they do have the makings of a team on the rise and, unlike the Denver Broncos who have mortgaged the future for Peyton Manning’s quest for a second ring, things are looking like they will keep improving.