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A Letter To Tom Telesco From Not-Quentin-Jammer

With his contract expiring, Not-Quentin-Jammer makes a plea to Chargers' GM, Tom Telesco.


Dear Mr. Telesco:

My name is Quentin Jammer and I am 33 years old. In 2002 the San Diego Chargers made me the 5th overall pick in the draft and I have been San Diego's cornerback ever since, making 161 starts across 172 games. As you may know, my contract is expiring.

I've had some rough times in San Diego. There were stretches where I couldn't hold onto the ball to save my life. There were other, more brief periods, where my methodology of covering wide receivers (holding and mugging), garnered negative attention (boos and flags). Eventually though, I figured it out. I became a reliable member of the secondary.

Part of what allowed me to make the necessary adjustments was my ability to absolutely blow-someone-the-F*CK-up!

Back when I was trying to get into the University of Texas sending highlight videos from my high school days was the way to go. I'm told today that it's all about the GIF. Look at what I did to Jeff Garcia back in 2008. Yeah, that's right. I absolutely blew-someone-the-F*CK-up!


Ha, ha. Look at Jeff bleeding. I didn't even get credit on that tackle. They gave it to some cat named....Jyles Tucker. That's how it's spelled, right? I've never heard of him either.

Oh, yeah. Yeah that's right, Mr. Telesco . . . those are Misfits lyrics.

In closing I would like to be the Chargers Strong Safety in 2013. I think that Eric Weddle and I would make a nice pairing in the secondary. And I can still absolutely blow-people-the-F*CK-up!

Thank you for your time.