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That Did Not Look Athletic: Get Out The Vote!

The first quarter of the Chargers' season unofficially concluded last week. As such we must now democratically determine which plays were the least athletic and worthy of entrance to the playoffs beginning in January 2013.

Jamie Squire - Getty Images

I've determined that you require a distraction from yesterday's collapse in the Big Easy. Here it is . . .

With the Presidential debates kicking in and the 1st quarter of the Chargers' season coming to a close last week it's high-time we get out the vote.

Think of AJM as a legislator. I write the laws. I think that I'm infallible but I'm nothing without a powerful court to debate the constitutionality of my "That Did Not Look Athletic" GIFs. So what I'm saying is that I am like Steve Largent. Steve Largent the U.S. Congressman. Not Steve Largent the undersized, Caucasian, wide receiver who once played for our former AFC West rival, the Seattle Seahawks.

You are the Supreme Court. You are like former Vikings/Bears defensive lineman, Alan Page. You must closely review the GIFs I select. You must vote on the ones that are worth keeping and repeal the ones that don't meet our stringent standards for failure. If you have a dissenting opinion deposit it into the comments section and perhaps it will be revisited in the House Chambers later this year.

Through Week 4 I've offered up 34 different GIFs displaying different forms of ignominy. Each week I've also shared an un-athletic story of my own to ensure that this endeavor does not devolve into a mean-spirited one.

I submit this question to you, arbiters of justice: Thus far, which play has been the least athletic in 2012?

The top four GIFs will move on to the playoffs at the conclusion of the regular season. There will also be four wild card spots available to the play that receives the highest total of votes but does not survive their preliminary group.

What say you?

Exhibit 1: Taiwan Jones's hands hate footballs.


Exhibit 2: Marcus Gilchrist submits to a Darren McFadden stiff-arm.


Exhibit 3: Will Witherspoon forgets his hops at home.


Exhibit 4: Philip Rivers throws a pass? Goes flying!


Exhibit 5: Nate Kaeding is a bowling pin kicker.


Exhibit 6: Atari Bigby sets his sights and . . . misfires ever so slightly!


Exhibit 7: Even a beast like Donald Butler can come out of his shoes.


Exhibit 8: Matt Bosher: Separated from the herd and hunted like a wounded zebra calf.


Exhibit 9: A bad celebration dance by Shaun Phillips or is he guilty because it was Antwan Barnes' sack? You decide.


Exhibit 10: Dunta Robinson. Yeah. He hit the wrong guy.


Exhibit 11: Antoine Cason lets Michael Turner get the corner.


Exhibit 12: Matt Cassel is a snow boarder.


Exhibit 13: Norv turner is kind of a bad-a** . . . but not very athletic.


Exhibit 14: Jamaal Charles: 15 yards for Excessive Hair-flipping.


Exhibit 15: Eric Berry gets sidestepped by the elder statesman, Antonio Gates.


Exhibit 16: Chiefs tackle Branden Albert gets pancaked by Melvin Ingram


Exhibit 17: Chiefs RB, Shaun Draughn puts himself in a very dangerous position before saying hello to Donald Butler.


Exhibit 18: Brandon Flowers and Jovan Belcher each receive a stiff-arm from Ryan Mathews.


I couldn't even cut the TDNLA list of GIFs in half and now I pass the baton on to you for the real work to begin, highest court in the land. Nobody said democracy was easy.

The "That Did Not Look Athletic" Archives

Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4