My Interview with Corey Liuget

I didn't actually interview Corey Liuget. I'm sorry, I didn't meant to lie to you … it's just that everyone else gets to interview Corey and I didn't want to be left out.

Wait, I know, I'll think positively! Instead of saying I didn't interview Corey, I'll say that I posted these questions here for him to answer. It's a half-finished interview. A real-time, live-blogged, interview! Maybe the first in history! You, the reader, get to read the questions before the actual interview subject does! Isn't that exciting?

Onto the questions …

• Both your tackle–count and sack–count doubled during your Junior season at Illinois. Why? Was it due to having more playing time?
• How about that QB Illinois has? The one with the weird name? He's pretty good, no? I'm trying to think of his name and all that's coming to mind is "Sandwich." JUICE WILLIAMS! That's his name. Oh, looks like he wasn't even on the team last year. I don't watch a lot of college football. This has been a terrible question.
• There's some talk about how you're about a half–inch shorter than what most GMs view as "acceptable" for a 3-4 DE. Blame Richard Seymour's ridiculous height. Anyway, have you ever considered getting that surgery where they break your legs and then make you wear leg braces and eventually you're a couple of inches taller? Might've helped your draft stock.

• I see you only had one forced–fumble in your three years at Illinois, and it was during your freshman season. You should try and force more fumbles. Not only are they game–changers, but realistically they shouldn't be that hard to get. Have you ever looked at a football? It's roughly the shape of a greased-up piglet. Just punch at it, it'll fly right out. Then it's a game of catch the greased-up piglet!
• Luis Castillo already wears #93, which was your number in college. Other numbers that are spoken for already include 71, 76, 90 (probably), 91, 92, 95, 98 and 99 (probably). Not much left to choose from. #94 wouldn't be terrible. Travis Johnson looked pretty snazzy in #96, but he's probably not coming back. You can have it if you want. Alfonso Boone went way low with #70 in 2009, that took some guts. So, which way are you leaning?
• Do you know that J Leman dude? He's apparently on the Chargers roster. Since the name doesn't ring a bell for me, I'm going to assume he was signed in the offseason to be a camp body (that's not being mean, he could make the team … well, you know what I'm saying). Anyway, you guys played together in Illinois. What's up with him using a letter for a first-name? Why limit yourself, right?

I think I might know why I don't get more interviews …