Tonight, the NFL fields an exciting matchup between the Colts of Indianapolis and the Texans of Houston. Pro Bowl QBs Peyton Manning and Matt Schaub go head-to-head in what should be......What's that? Oh, hell. Let's start over.
After injuries to their starting QBs, the Texans travel to Indianapolis behind Matt Leinart to take on offseason free agent pickup Kerry Collins (that signing sure looks handy now!) for a very important AFC South matchup....What? What do you mean those aren't the QBs? If it's not them, who is it? You're kidding me. And the Colts are out of it? What's their record? Oh, man. We have no idea how good we have it in San Diego, huh? Alright, third time's the charm.
In front of a national audience tonight, the Texans and T.J. Yates....is that how that's pronounced?....travel to the site of this year's Super Bowl in Indianapolis to take on the 1-13 Colts and Dan Orlovsky, who is most famous for accidentally running out of the back of his own end zone while dropping back to pass, in a totally meaningless game unless you're a degenerate gambler and/or a fantasy football player.
Enjoy the game, everyone!