Bossman Gennaro sometimes talks about how he takes notes during games. I do the same thing, sort of. Except they are mostly on Twitter and nonsensical. I send about 400 tweets per game (note: MUST FOLLOW). Well, yesterday I was on an airplane and could watch, but not tweet. Because I am a narcissist, I wrote all my tweets in iPhone Notes. You can see them all (and their corresponding play) below.
I may have too much time on my hands.
1st and 10 at SD 17 | (8:24) R.Mathews up the middle to SD 24 for 7 yards (J.Wilcox, J.Heath). | Ryan Mathews is shifty as long as he is less than 7 yards down the field. Good move breaks tackle on ilb"]" style="padding: 2px 3px; vertical-align: bottom; font-size: 80%; color: #222222;">Ryan Mathews is shifty as long as he is less than 7 yards down the field. Good move breaks tackle on ilb |
2nd and 3 at SD 24 | (7:44) (Shotgun) P.Rivers pass short middle to L.Green to SD 30 for 6 yards (B.Carter, J.Durant). | Green is gates. He's got all the tools. |
1st and 10 at SD 30 | (7:16) R.Mathews up the middle to SD 35 for 5 yards (B.Carter). | Mathews cuts back inside, choosing to be tackled by an ilb instead of a db...why? |
2nd and 5 at SD 35 | (6:42) (Shotgun) P.Rivers pass short left to D.Woodhead to DAL 40 for 25 yards (A.Dixon). | Peyton mannings offense looks good in San Diego. Great check against the blitz gets wood head in space. He's NEVER tackled by the first guy. |
1st and 10 at DAL 40 | (6:11) D.Woodhead left end to DAL 40 for no gain (T.Crawford, J.Durant). PENALTY on SD-K.Dunlap, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at DAL 40 - No Play. | Troutman murdered someone on the cutback from wood heads. |
1st and 20 at 50 | (5:51) (Shotgun) P.Rivers pass short left to E.Royal to DAL 40 for 10 yards (J.Heath, B.Carter). | Eddie royal is one of the best wrs in the league as long as the throw is less than 5 yards. UPTEMPO time! |
2nd and 10 at DAL 40 | (5:16) (Shotgun) R.Mathews up the middle to DAL 35 for 5 yards (A.Dixon, J.Durant). | meh. The cowboys d is baaad |
3rd and 5 at DAL 35 | (4:39) (Shotgun) P.Rivers pass deep right to L.Green to DAL 15 for 20 yards (J.Wilcox). | Green on rivers scramble finds a pocket and elevates. Green is gates |
1st and 10 at DAL 15 | (4:24) (Shotgun) D.Woodhead up the middle to DAL 9 for 6 yards (J.Durant). | The cowboys d is so bad. Good trap push from troutman cleared that hole |
2nd and 4 at DAL 9 | (3:56) R.Mathews right end to DAL 7 for 2 yards (J.Durant, T.Mitchell). | |
3rd and 2 at DAL 7 | (3:21) (Shotgun) D.Woodhead up the middle to DAL 3 for 4 yards (B.Carter). | |
1st and 3 at DAL 3 | (2:40) P.Rivers pass incomplete short right to M.Floyd. PENALTY on DAL-T.Mitchell, Defensive Holding, 2 yards, enforced at DAL 3 - No Play. | Terrance Mitchell has the tools to be really good, but holy crap that was terrible."]" style="padding: 2px 3px; vertical-align: bottom; font-size: 80%; color: #222222;">Um, great defense. Terrance Mitchell has the tools to be really good, but holy crap that was terrible. |
1st and 1 at DAL 1 | (2:36) R.Mathews up the middle to DAL 1 for no gain (J.Durant). FUMBLES (J.Durant), RECOVERED by DAL-T.Mitchell at DAL -8. Touchback (K.Allen). | Lol. Mathews fumbled on his dumbass leap. About time. Maybe he'll stop being so predictable. His mustache game tho? On point. I hope the team grows them all out so we can call them mustache bolts. |
SD DRIVE TOTALS: 11 plays, 82 yards, 5:55 | ||
Dallas at 2:29 | ||
1st and 10 at DAL 20 | (2:29) B.Weeden pass short middle to T.Williams to DAL 37 for 17 yards (J.Addae). | Conner faked out. Addae comes across the field and puts on a decent hit |
1st and 10 at DAL 37 | (1:52) J.Randle right end to DAL 45 for 8 yards (J.Addae, D.Stuckey). | Connor with back to back awful plays. Enveloped by the Dallas guard BECAUSE he attacks the wrong shoulder. He fills that gap if he brings a strong flipper to the outside of the guard. |
2nd and 2 at DAL 45 | (1:28) J.Randle right end to 50 for 5 yards (D.Scafe). | Liuget should be encased in a bubble, only allowed out on game days, and never allows to practice. They look hopeless without him |
1st and 10 at 50 | (:58) B.Weeden pass short right to J.Hanna to SD 43 for 7 yards (J.Attaochu, S.Williams). | Steve Williams is going to continue the chargers tradition of whiffing when attempting to tackle."]" style="padding: 2px 3px; vertical-align: bottom; font-size: 80%; color: #222222;">great to see Steve Williams is going to continue the chargers tradition of whiffing when attempting to tackle. |
2nd and 3 at SD 43 | (:14) J.Randle up the middle to SD 46 for -3 yards (D.Scafe). | Scafe is yet another 1 happier being asked to do something he can't. #paganodefense + #STRATEGERY That time he 1 gaps and makes a great play. |
3rd and 6 at SD 46 | (15:00) B.Weeden pass deep right to G.Escobar to SD 20 for 26 yards (J.Addae, D.Stuckey). | Great tackling Marshall. Tell me more about how much stronger you got this year. Those biceps made for a STRONG whiff. |
1st and 10 at SD 20 | (14:18) J.Randle left end ran ob at SD 11 for 9 yards (A.Gachkar). | |
2nd and 1 at SD 11 | (13:46) J.Randle up the middle to SD 9 for 2 yards (D.Stuckey). | |
1st and 9 at SD 9 | (13:10) (Shotgun) PENALTY on SD-J.Addae, Defensive Holding, 5 yards, enforced at SD 9 - No Play. | STRONG interferenceception by rich there too. Oh, it was HOLDING! people who call addae Ronnie Lott. Stop doing that. |
1st and 4 at SD 4 | (13:05) J.Randle right guard to SD 3 for 1 yard (T.Keiser). | Thomas Keizer is better at ambushing bouncers than playing football. |
2nd and 3 at SD 3 | (12:29) J.Randle right tackle to SD 4 for -1 yards (J.Addae, L.Guy). | Weddle fills gaps so well. He has many kids. Be here all season. |
3rd and 4 at SD 4 | (11:50) B.Weeden pass short right to J.Hanna for 4 yards, TOUCHDOWN [L.Guy]. D.Bailey extra point is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-C.Jones. | Holy crap, that was a really nice play by Weeden. And a really terrible one by Conner. Sigh. Our ILBs besides Butler, who is made of glass, do not look so good. |
COMMERCIALS | MANZIEL DA GOD | MANZIEL COMMERCIAL. get used to those until someone collapses his lung and or he ODs. |
WALKING MACHINE | Somehow better than the next commercial, an exercise machine from overcomplicatedland. At the end it's made of pixels! You should buy one. | |
ROBO BOXER MATCH 3000 | Did you know they fight big knockout boxing on a robot floor?! I might watch that. | |
Movie trailer | I am on an airplane. The last program I watched was called naked dating. I'm pretty sure I watched people have sex during it. "Into the storm" looks considerably more offensive and harmful to children. | |
OFFENSE part deuce, which is a poop joke I made when Clemens walked into the field. Because he's shit. Get it? | C.Mandell kicks 65 yards from DAL 35 to end zone, Touchback. | |
1st and 10 at SD 20 | (11:42) D.Brown left end to SD 20 for no gain (A.Hitchens). PENALTY on SD-R.Ohrnberger, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at SD 20 - No Play. | Donnie brown is a good player. McCoy makes him sound less interesting than skim milk. |
1st and 20 at SD 10 | (11:23) (Shotgun) K.Clemens pass short middle to S.Ajirotutu to SD 18 for 8 yards (J.Heath, A.Hitchens). PENALTY on DAL-B.Webb, Illegal Use of Hands, 5 yards, enforced at SD 10 - No Play. | SHAYJIE!!! I like when he plays because dan fouts tries a different pronunciation every time he takes the field. |
1st and 10 at SD 15 | (11:07) (Shotgun) D.Brown right end to SD 22 for 7 yards (A.Dixon, T.Mitchell). | Ahmad Dixon looked like a good player at Baylor. He still does for the cowboys."]" style="padding: 2px 3px; vertical-align: bottom; font-size: 80%; color: #222222;">Ahmad Dixon looked like a good player at Baylor. He still does for the cowboys. |
2nd and 3 at SD 22 | (10:27) D.Brown up the middle to SD 29 for 7 yards (A.Dixon, A.Hitchens). | Huge hole for brown. That was impressive. Donnie has a mustache too! Mustache bolt lives! |
1st and 10 at SD 29 | (9:47) K.Clemens pass short left to S.Ajirotutu to SD 39 for 10 yards (A.Hitchens). | Azirotootoo! What will fouts do next? |
1st and 10 at SD 39 | (9:14) B.Oliver left end to DAL 47 for 14 yards (A.Dixon). | Oliver looks like a faster, smaller version of mike Tolbert. Not sproles. I loved Tolbert. Interesting that Oliver plays over grice though. More versatile? |
1st and 10 at DAL 47 | (8:27) B.Oliver up the middle to DAL 43 for 4 yards (A.Hitchens, Z.Martin). | Manti teo contributes! Great butt slap for Brandon. |
2nd and 6 at DAL 43 | (7:51) B.Oliver right end to DAL 41 for 2 yards (J.Heath, D.Bush). | |
3rd and 4 at DAL 41 | (7:09) (Shotgun) K.Clemens pass short left to T.Reese to DAL 24 for 17 yards (T.Mitchell). | Reeeeeeeeeese is faaaaaaaast. That was a pretty pick play. Maybe he can be royal 2.0? Better route than I thought. |
1st and 10 at DAL 24 | (6:51) D.Brown up the middle to DAL 16 for 8 yards (A.Dixon). | Oline eating |
2nd and 2 at DAL 16 | (6:16) B.Oliver up the middle for 16 yards, TOUCHDOWN. N.Novak extra point is GOOD, Center-M.Windt, Holder-M.Scifres. | Oliver is kinda impressive. Going to be a really sad cut. Mathews should take holding into the ball lessons from him while he's still here though. |
COMMERCIALS | Doogie's hiney | I LOVE doggie howser |
Poorly thought out energizer | Energizer batteries make toys that take 6 months to make bad chess moves! Buy them! | |
Barfed potatoes | Outbacks crab potato looks like someone cut open an awesome, steaming baked potato, and then vomited. A lot. | |
It'll get ya drunk! You'll be fucking fat biches in no time! | Sam Adams brews 60 beers a year, 45 of which taste like dog piss!"]" style="padding: 2px 3px; vertical-align: bottom; font-size: 80%; color: #222222;">Sam Adams brews 60 beers a year, 45 of which taste like dog piss! | |
Shark Week | Rob Lowe + dubstep from Nero = sharks. Best ad ever. | |
Farters | Farmers insurance commercials way funnier if you convince yourself they are saying farters. BUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH | |
N.Novak kicks 68 yards from SD 35 to DAL -3. B.Malena to DAL 17 for 20 yards (D.Stuckey). | Stuckey is great at special teams | |
1st and 10 at DAL 17 | (6:04) R.Williams left tackle to DAL 22 for 5 yards (T.Palepoi). | De's getting pushed around. Get well soon Corey! |
2nd and 5 at DAL 22 | (5:30) B.Weeden pass short right to R.Williams to DAL 26 for 4 yards (R.Walker, K.Conner). | Steve Williams. Great athlete (?)...terrible tackler. |
3rd and 1 at DAL 26 | (4:49) (Shotgun) B.Weeden pass incomplete short left to T.Benford (J.Addae). | Good coverage by addae. All Ronnie lottisms aside, the kid can play. |
Timeout #1 by SD at 04:44. | McCoy calls a timeout, presumably because he has still not decided on a punt returner. | |
4th and 1 at DAL 26 | (4:44) C.Jones punts 46 yards to SD 28, Center-L.Ladouceur. C.Davis to SD 41 for 13 yards (J.Hanna, D.Holloman). | It's Chris Davis! Fouts calls him Davies. He runs too high for a returner, regardless of whether fouts has a speech impediment. |
OFFENSE, STILL POOPY | ||
1st and 10 at SD 41 | (4:32) K.Clemens pass deep middle to D.Inman to DAL 37 for 22 yards (T.Mitchell). Penalty on DAL-A.Dixon, Illegal Contact, declined. | Seriously...sorenson gets like 15 reps a year. Why waste this time on Keller Clemens? |
Oh, that might be why. Inman finds a nice seam on a rifle from Clemens, required because he took the whole Mesozoic era to drop back. | ||
1st and 10 at DAL 37 | (4:10) B.Oliver up the middle to DAL 37 for no gain (D.Coleman, A.Hitchens). | |
2nd and 10 at DAL 37 | (3:37) B.Oliver left end to DAL 10 for 27 yards (K.Bishop). PENALTY on DAL-K.Bishop, Horse Collar Tackle, 5 yards, enforced at DAL 10. | Ok. I like Oliver. Nice open field move on the db. Maybe Ryan can learn more than just how to handle balls (teeheehee) from him. |
1st and 5 at DAL 5 | (3:11) B.Oliver right guard to DAL 4 for 1 yard (C.Lawrence). | |
2nd and 4 at DAL 4 | (2:27) K.Clemens pass incomplete short middle to D.Inman. PENALTY on DAL-J.Heath, Defensive Holding, 2 yards, enforced at DAL 4 - No Play. | |
1st and 2 at DAL 2 | (2:21) M.Grice up the middle to DAL 1 for 1 yard (K.Boatright, D.Coleman). | |
Two-Minute Warning | No one else on my airplane is watching this game. They are the smart ones. I'm compensating by watching it on 3 TVs. It's nice to have friends. | |
2nd and 1 at DAL 1 | (2:00) M.Grice up the middle to DAL 3 for -2 yards (A.Hitchens, J.Heath). | Awful. Where's the fullback? Have to look inside to find work there. Side note: manti teo would still be taking read steps as you read this. |
Timeout #1 by DAL at 01:50. | ||
3rd and 3 at DAL 3 | (1:50) K.Clemens right end to DAL 6 for -3 yards (C.Rayford). | Love how reich tried a qb draw. That's getting your players ready for the regular season. Rivers such a running threat that defenses must respect him esp in red zone. |
Timeout #2 by DAL at 01:46. | ||
4th and 6 at DAL 6 | (1:46) N.Novak 24 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-M.Windt, Holder-M.Scifres. | |
DEFENSE, Who's excited for some preseason prevent d?! | N.Novak kicks 67 yards from SD 35 to DAL -2. B.Malena to DAL 20 for 22 yards (J.Addae, R.Walker). | Great. Addae hurt in special teams. Smart preseason utilization.not like there are literally anyone else to cover kicks. |
1st and 10 at DAL 20 | (1:35) (Shotgun) B.Weeden pass short left to D.Street to DAL 28 for 8 yards (C.Butler). | A DB made a tackle! Ok, the receiver was already lying prone... Still, progress! |
2nd and 2 at DAL 28 | (1:13) (Shotgun) B.Weeden pass short right to T.Benford to DAL 28 for no gain (C.Davis). | |
3rd and 2 at DAL 28 | (:46) B.Weeden pass short middle to L.Byrd to DAL 35 for 7 yards (B.Ghee) [D.Scafe]. | Weeden looks 30x better than Clemens. That's not good. |
Timeout #3 by DAL at 00:37. | ||
1st and 10 at DAL 35 | (:37) (Shotgun) B.Weeden pass short right to R.Williams ran ob at DAL 43 for 8 yards (K.Conner). | Connor is making me miss teo. And I hate teo. |
2nd and 2 at DAL 43 | (:30) (Shotgun) B.Weeden pass short middle to R.Williams to SD 49 for 8 yards (K.Conner). | Number 40 is really good at getting places fast in order to miss tackles. Basically a prototypical bolts db. |
1st and 10 at SD 49 | (:11) B.Weeden spiked the ball to stop the clock. | |
2nd and 10 at SD 49 | (:09) (Shotgun) B.Weeden FUMBLES (Aborted) at SD 49, and recovers at SD 49. B.Weeden pass short right to T.Benford to SD 39 for 10 yards (T.Palepoi). | |
END QUARTER 2 | Is it just me, or did LT smirk when mooch referenced Mathews fumble?Cowboys vs Chargers coverage |