That Did Not Look Athletic is a weekly series that examines some of the least athletic plays from the previous week's Chargers game. This series is meant to give us a few laughs by showing that even the best athletes in the world have their moments of shame. It's also a reminder that you aren't a complete loser just because you punched at a tether-ball and fell down in front of a bunch of 3rd graders.
My earliest cognitive memory is of Kathy Ireland in the 1987 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. I admit that this is strange considering I had already passed through some of the primary grade levels in elementary school. But that is neither here nor there. Ms. Ireland had an exotic name that called to mind my ancestors who once set sail from the emerald isle. Her eyes were green, and they pierced through my adolescent soul. I was hooked on Ireland.
Then everything in my world came to a crashing halt when I saw a film starring Scott Bakula* called Necessary Roughness.
In this film, about a college football team of misfits, Kathy Ireland featured prominently as . . . the place kicker. And good lord was she horrible. I had never seen such an awkward attempt at kicking a ball in my entire life, nor have I since. On that day in 1991 a small part of me died.
Seriously, go look at YouTube if you want to see exactly how bad she looked - but I won't take part in enabling your gross desires. I provided a link to a picture, and that's more than enough. I've relented . . . go ahead and watch it.
*Maybe Sinbad was the star?
I am sad now. Let us cleanse our collective sadness by looking at the TDNLA from Sunday morning's game. We shall begin where we always do . . .
Eric Weddle looked really, really bad on this play. He didn't miss the tackle, but he was side-stepped with a brutal surety from Chris Johnson. Was it really Eric Weddle who got beaten so badly? It could have just as easily been some schmuck the Chargers put in uniform after finding him roaming the parking lot of LP Field whispering, "Need a ticket? Got a ticket here."
But that's Chris Johnson for ya - he makes even the best athletes among us look bad.
This still photograph below does absolutely no justice to how bad Titans punter Brett Kern looked while fielding a less than perfect snap and then, gahhhhhhhhhh!!!, falling on top of it awkwardly. Maybe we can turn it into a GIF during the off-season.
Use your mind's eye to envision young Fozzy Whitaker botching this kick-off and barely escaping with a touch-back instead of the ball being placed on the 1 yard line. Watch yourself Fozzy. Guys lose their jobs over plays like that.
And without further ado . . .
TDNLA Week 3:
One of the fun things about TDNLA is that the plays are generally viewed as lighthearted gaffes - but not this week.
Does one player ever lose a game for a team? The answer is, "Of course not, you damn fool!"
Having offered that disclaimer, Marcus Gilchrist definitely lost this game for the Chargers.
Have an un-athletic story you want to share for next week’s TDNLA? E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org