One Day After Signing with the San Diego Chargers, Kyle Boller Has Retired

"Yeah, this is too much work. I want to go back to the beach"

Thursday was the first full day of Chargers Training Camp. By Thursday evening, the Chargers' number-2 (read: backup) Quarterback Charlie Whitehurst suffered a hair emergency knee strain that's going to knock him out for what Head Coach Norv Turner suspects to be "a couple weeks."

When the injury to a such a vital member of the team appeared much more serious than first thought, the team had to scramble and find someone to fill in his place. Enter journeyman QB Kyle Boller. Boller, who is a resident of Del Mar, didn't originally hear the Chargers call as he was busy in a Board Meeting.1 Boller called the Chargers back and reluctantly accepted the newly-opened position of Backup Quarterback for the San Diego Chargers.2

Boller made the arduous commute to Murphy Canyon from Del Mar and was slinging the pigskin by Friday afternoon. This apparently proved to be too much for his geriatric body as he was far too wrecked to make it into practice today.

Upon seeing Kyle Boller absent from practice today, the nearly 5,100 Chargers fans in attendance today were concerned enough to take it upon themselves to organize a search party and find out what happened to the team's newest member. After about 10 minutes of searching, Boller was found laying on the beach in Del Mar again next to his beauty-queen wife.3

So there we have it, apparently the demanding task of being a temporary backup Quarterback in the NFL was just too taxing for Kyle Boller. Now the Chargers must begin the search all over again for a new QB to throw passes during Training Camp. Maybe they can make a reality competition show about it, I know I'd totally watch that. Mark Brunell, you're up next!

1 Board Meeting = Surfing

2 I have no clue if any of this is actually true

3 Pretty sure this also is not true. Well, except the whole part about being married to a beauty queen. Seriously, he's married to Carrie Prejean.

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