That Did Not Look Athletic is a weekly series where we look at some of the least athletic plays during the previous week'sgame. This series is meant to give us a few laughs by showing that even the best athletes in the world have their moments of shame. It's also a reminder that you aren't a complete loser just because you punched at a tether-ball and fell down in front of a bunch of 3rd graders.
I saw a young man with cuts all over his upper lip, and the bridge of his nose the other day. It looked painful. I asked what had happened and then showed empathy by sharing a story of my own. It went something like this . . .
I had to switch high schools after my sophomore year concluded because a brand new school had been built down the street from me. When my new teammates and I played baseball during a winter league we weren't properly outfitted with the equipment needed to compete. When I came to the plate it was often with a batting helmet one size too large, depending on what had happened to the hitters before me and whether our craniums were of a similar circumference.
Sure enough, one day I rounded 2nd base hard, and decided to stretch it to 3rd. The combination of a growth spurt and a crazy-big helmet conspired with one another and as I readied myself for a headfirst slide the helmet dipped and obstructed my view. As I slid my face bounced repeatedly off the unkempt base-path. I was safe but the action would have never been described as pretty. And I had cut my face to pieces!
The best part of it all? That evening I attended a Winter Formal, my first dance in high school. NOT! ATHLETIC!
Let's check out the athleticism from Sunday's game . . .
This GIF of Ben is awesome. Observe the weird, contorted face. Recognize the look of embarrassment as he realizes that his throw will be immortalized in the next edition of Sportscenter or worse, TDNLA. And then the coup de gras . . . the squished face as he receives an unexpected hit from Jarret Johnson. Awesome.
I was upset at Danario Alexander when he dropped this pass. And then I thought about it for a second and my anger went away. I love Danario Alexander. He is not Royal. He is not Meachem.
Imagine being engaged in a block, fighting tooth and nail to keep your QB from being sacked for a safety, and then PING! ZOW! BZZZZ! Your a** hurts and your team has given up two scores in a span of 16 seconds. Un-athletic Ben or athletic Jarret? You be the judge.
I like Corey Lynch. I also like when running backs run over tacklers and then step on top of them. So I guess a thank you to Jonathan Dwyer is in order. Thank you, Jonathan Dwyer. That's a C-3PO quote on the GIF by the way. Sorry. Best I could come up with.
This might be my favorite GIF of the year. Chargers linebacker Bront Bird makes an amazing interception and then . . . gahhhhhhHHHHHHH!
Turning an ankle is the absolute worst! And we've all done it before. You know those times, when you're walking down a sidewalk and then you step off of the curb. You try to make an inconspicuous recovery but there's no getting around it . . . you still look so stupid and un-athletic and somebody undoubtedly saw you. And by "you" I mean you. I surely don't look that way. You look that way. LOSER!
The "That Did Not Look Athletic" Archives
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