Two Minutes of Hate is meant entirely in good fun and if you manage to be offended you're probably an idiot.
Between their attempts to ruin not only my survivor pool but my fantasy team as well, I am in no danger of running out of reasons to hate the Kansas City Chiefs.
Going into Week 1, the Chiefs over the Buffalo Bills seemed to many of us like the safest pick to start the season off right. It had everything you look for. Kansas City was sure to be a mediocre team you wouldn't want to pick again later in the season, but they were at home where they typically have a tremendous home field advantage and they were going up against a truly horrible opponent. I should have known it was too good to be true. They not only lost, knocking me out of my survivor pool in Week 1, they got completely blown out making me look like an idiot for picking them in the first place. Screw you, Kansas City.
I was almost willing to forgive them for this transgression. Who better understands and forgives early season struggles than a Chargers fan, after all? We're talking about a fan base that watched its team lose to the lowly Kansas City Chiefs in Week 1 of last year. We get it. Sometimes these things happen. But Kansas City wasn't done trying to ruin me after one week. Not even close. Midway through the first quarter of their Week 2 game against the Detroit Lions, they carted my first round draft pick* off the field and placed him on Injured Reserve. Unconscionable! It's as if they were willing to throw away their entire season just to spite me. I won't soon forget this.
My hatred of the Chiefs isn't limited to the product on the field, though. Their attempts to be the New England Patriots of the Midwest, though largely fruitless, have been entirely obnoxious. Starting with the hiring Scott Pioli, Kansas City has attempted to acquire every New England castoff it could get its hands on. I believe they actually hung a sign on the door that reads, "Not good enough to play or coach in New England? Welcome to Kansas City. Our barbecue isn't the only thing that's second rate." One stupid hiring/signing begat another. Each one made New England look better than it did before and it's not like the amount of love directed the Patriots' way wasn't already unbearable. Thanks, KC.
Finally, there are the Kansas City Chiefs fans. I have many issues with them, but the one I wish to touch on today is their ridiculous adulation for the late Derrick Thomas. Sure, he was pretty good. I get it. However, the fact that he's in the Hall of Fame is a bit of a joke. He really might be the most overrated linebacker to ever play the game. He got after the passer with vengeance, but that's all he did**. I forget who said it, but he said it best, "[Derrick Thomas] was Gastineau without the attitude." I'll give DT this much credit, though: he was a better linebacker than he was a driver***.
As always, I'd like to close by apologizing for the quality of my work and assuring you that I intend to do better in the future but, after three weeks of this, I think we all know I'm full of it. I'd also like to add that I hate typing "Kansas." For whatever reason, I miss the first "s" about 40% of the time.
*Jamaal Charles sure did seem like a good pick at the time. Live and learn...
**In his defense, I believe he was actually allergic to running backs.
***Yeah, that was probably out of line and I'm sorry.