Two Minutes Of Hate: Bye Week

by Richard Wade on Oct 15, 2011 1:10 PM PDT in BFTB Editorials

Fire Norv!!! Weddle sucks!!! Bring back Lorenzo Neal!!! RUN MOAR!!! 4-3!!! (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Two Minutes of Hate is meant entirely in good fun and if you manage to be offended you're probably an idiot.

So, it's the bye week in San Diego and I'm left with no opponent to hate. However, the editorial calendar tells me I'm still required to hate something. That something, dear reader, is you. Well, not you personally* but you my fellow Chargers fans. Now, I don't really hate all of my fellow fans. I only hate the ones that call into talk radio shows, comment on SignOnSanDiego.com or try to speak to me about the team in person*. And while this is a minority of Charger fans, the depth of my hate for them is rather unhealthy**.

What, you might wonder, is it about this particular segment of the fan base that inspires such feelings? It's a lot of different things, but mostly it's the way they parrot the inane talking points of the Paul Mahans*** and Chris Ellos of the world while ignoring any and all facts that contradict them.

Fans who only watch the game once in real time while following the ball on every play can't possibly have informed opinions about the play of individual linemen (be it offensive or defensive), but you better believe that won't stop them from having incredibly strong opinions about the play of individual linemen. If I never have to explain to another Chargers fan the value Luis Castillo brings to the defense again it will be too soon.**** I've actually heard people claiming that Vaughn Martin has been better than Castillo. I wish that was true, but if you've watched both of them play you know it's not even close.*****

Many of these fans are the same people who think that if the Chargers would just run the ball more they'd win more. Much like in the case of mistaking Martin for the superior defensive end, they will point to statistics that "prove" their case. "Look, you guys, when we run X number of times we're undefeated." Congratulations, geniuses, on letting us know that you don't understand statistics any more than you understand football. I apologize in advance that I can't comprehend this for you, but allow me to explain to you what's happening here. Teams run the ball more in the second half of games in which they're already winning in an attempt to keep the clock moving to escape with a victory. This logically results in teams having more rushing attempts in games they win than in the ones they lose (where they would be throwing more in the second half because they are behind). Winning leads to running. Not the other way around. You're welcome and please don't talk to me any more.

Next week, we'll return to hating our mutual enemies. Until then, if you don't have something intelligent to say, don't say it to me.

*Well, some of you. You probably know who you are and if you don't you're dumber than I thought I hate you more now.

**I hate them almost as much as Jodi Paranal hates our own Steve Adler.

***Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton

****Seriously guys. Why do you think Shaun Phillips and Antonio Garay are so much more effective when he's playing?

*****If you quote their tackle counts to me I'll probably ban you.

Tweet Comment 26 comments | 3 recs |

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Comments

ay guys

For those who Richard is talking about plz make sure you don’t get offended because you’ll be an idiot, oh wait according to Richard you’re already. I really don’t think Richard hates any team in the NFL as much as he hates the dumb asses he’s referring to. I hate those kinda of fans, they know nothing about the game, and the sad part is I don’t even know much either, but I can notice so much more.

by john1 on Oct 15, 2011 1:28 PM PDT reply actions

Stats Show

You get no rec’s when you use that many asterisks after the jump.

by Stan Darsh on Oct 15, 2011 2:23 PM PDT reply actions

Cool.

Bolts from the Blue // "I eat cereal out of a giant novelty wine glass because it makes me feel fancy." - Britney Wade
Bloody Elbow // "I think we're poking fun at Leland's 'boner.'" - Michael Fagan

by Richard Wade on Oct 15, 2011 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions

I Stand

Corrected. Go Bolts! Got a flight down for the Baltimore game for my birthday. Stoked!!!

by Stan Darsh on Oct 15, 2011 6:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Stan darsh

Great episode of south park.

by Its Mikey!! on Oct 16, 2011 2:04 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions

UGH

Did I just see Hamilton’s name ? I’m gonna puke . I’m still confused as to how in the hell did that toad ever got associated with the Bolts ? I thought I would be spared ever hearing his voice or seeing the name again , and that would suit me just fine . Thanks for the Pepto moment .

by threecubed on Oct 15, 2011 3:41 PM PDT reply actions

whew, i thought you were talking about me

I just want to bring back LoNeal, Marty and switch to the 3-4. I mean, didn’t you se that graphic about how much our rushing sucked since he LoNeal left? It explained all our problems perfectly.

And thanks for not hating on sarcasm font.

If I agreed with you, we would both be wrong

by Diesel85 on Oct 15, 2011 4:05 PM PDT via mobile reply actions

Apparently I can’t even convince myself that the 4-3 is good.

If I agreed with you, we would both be wrong

by Diesel85 on Oct 15, 2011 4:06 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs

I like this trend

We should now get a meme of people asking us to return to a 3-4.

queen of the rec fairies
although it broke our hearts it did not break our will the herd

by Aussie fan on Oct 15, 2011 10:05 PM PDT up reply actions

Haha

So many people ask for the 4-3 that we’ve moved on to demanding the 3-4 back? I like it.

by Its Mikey!! on Oct 16, 2011 2:06 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions

we could also really use

a “The Chargers will lose to the bye week” post. Not sure how that happens, but if any team can manage to lose to the bye week it’s this one.

by Lenny Suckerpunch on Oct 15, 2011 7:38 PM PDT via mobile reply actions

This. If everyone doesn't heal up properly in time for New York, I blame John not writing that.

Bolts from the Blue // "I eat cereal out of a giant novelty wine glass because it makes me feel fancy." - Britney Wade
Bloody Elbow // "I think we're poking fun at Leland's 'boner.'" - Michael Fagan

by Richard Wade on Oct 15, 2011 8:27 PM PDT up reply actions

Wasted opportunity of Two Minutes

I’d prefer starting early on scaredCRO and/or LT.
Leaving lots of time left for Rex Ryan, Revis Island, the Sanchize and an extra dig on hoe’martie.

by koloco9 on Oct 15, 2011 7:46 PM PDT reply actions

Que?

Bolts from the Blue // "I eat cereal out of a giant novelty wine glass because it makes me feel fancy." - Britney Wade
Bloody Elbow // "I think we're poking fun at Leland's 'boner.'" - Michael Fagan

by Richard Wade on Oct 15, 2011 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions

That's next week

Or a better version* thereof

*Where version is taken in the broadest possible terms and does not necessarily refer to any similarity apart from the use of the words Rex Ryan.

queen of the rec fairies
although it broke our hearts it did not break our will the herd

by Aussie fan on Oct 15, 2011 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Rec'd for footnote.

Bolts from the Blue // "I eat cereal out of a giant novelty wine glass because it makes me feel fancy." - Britney Wade
Bloody Elbow // "I think we're poking fun at Leland's 'boner.'" - Michael Fagan

by Richard Wade on Oct 16, 2011 12:39 AM PDT up reply actions

Easily fixed

Jets get 4 minutes of hate.

It's NEVER a shrimp on the barbie. It's not even a shrimp.

by The Land Of Real Beer on Oct 16, 2011 12:12 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

rec'd

queen of the rec fairies
although it broke our hearts it did not break our will the herd

by Aussie fan on Oct 16, 2011 2:10 AM PDT up reply actions

Obvious Aussie Log Rolling. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

by Orz on Oct 16, 2011 10:11 AM PDT up reply actions

Hey

Real Beer is one of the best things that has happened to this blog! Along with certain video highlights every week done by someone whose name escapes me…

grin.

queen of the rec fairies
although it broke our hearts it did not break our will the herd

by Aussie fan on Oct 18, 2011 4:41 AM PDT up reply actions

Hamilton...

is the worst. broadcaster. ever.

by JYBaritone on Oct 16, 2011 6:03 AM PDT reply actions

Rushing is causal not just correlated

You control the ball, make them fear you, old school.

Other ways to beat the other team: turn the ball over less, score more points than they do, but the one everyone overlooks is the kneel down. Especially the ones in the second half. You run that play, even several, you win baby.

by jayman66 on Oct 16, 2011 8:39 PM PDT reply actions

haha

Bolts from the Blue // "I eat cereal out of a giant novelty wine glass because it makes me feel fancy." - Britney Wade
Bloody Elbow // "I think we're poking fun at Leland's 'boner.'" - Michael Fagan

by Richard Wade on Oct 16, 2011 9:40 PM PDT up reply actions

Bravo John, we hate you too.

No seriously, we hate you too.

6/10/2010 - Tra Thomas signs with the Chargers
8/21/2010 - Tra Thomas retires.

That was fast.

by SD FTW on Oct 17, 2011 6:31 AM PDT reply actions

Hey. John doesn't hate you. I do.

Bolts from the Blue // "I eat cereal out of a giant novelty wine glass because it makes me feel fancy." - Britney Wade
Bloody Elbow // "I think we're poking fun at Leland's 'boner.'" - Michael Fagan

by Richard Wade on Oct 17, 2011 8:09 AM PDT up reply actions

Lol

Well then, I cannot say the same for you Richard, we merely dislike you.
I usually just link anything unpopular with John, it’s just how it goes. And the two of you have similar writing styles.

6/10/2010 - Tra Thomas signs with the Chargers
8/21/2010 - Tra Thomas retires.

That was fast.

by SD FTW on Oct 17, 2011 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions