Philip Rivers Won the Pro Bowl

Traveling to Hawaii to play in the Pro Bowl for the first time, Philip Rivers made sure to have a big impact on the game. After all, the game is what really matters...right? RIGHT? At least it's what matters to El Capitan.

I didn't watch the game, because it's the Pro Bowl and I decided to do something much more exciting with my time. Namely, I vacuumed and took a nap after eating a Hot Pocket. After watching the 3 minute highlight package, I couldn't be happier with my decision on how I spent my Sunday afternoon. The only play that seemed to be taken from an actual playbook was when Rivers threw a laser in between two defenders and lodged the ball in the ribcage of Reggie Wayne for a touchdown.

Here's what I learned from reading the box score:

• Philip Rivers threw twice as many passes (26) as the next closest QB (Matt Ryan, 13). I have no idea how or why this happened, especially since I'm pretty sure Matt Cassel played in both the 2nd and 4th quarters and Peyton Manning played the 1st. Philip also tied for the lead amongst QBs for TDs (2), INTs (2) and was the unquestioned leader in yards with 192.
• Montell Owens apparently out-Kassim-Osgooded Kassim Osgood. If you take a peek at his stats for 2010, you'll find that he's a RB (who knew!) from the Jacksonville Jaguars that dominated his way to the Pro Bowl with zero rushes, zero catches, zero passes and zero yards. Yet, in the Pro Bowl he finished with 25 total yards (2 catches, 1 rush), 2 tackles and 2 TDs (1 receiving, 1 special teams). He should've won the MVP, but I don't think he did.
• Apparently nobody felt like playing run defense, so the following players had over 5 YPC: Jamaal Charles, Chris Johnson, Marc Mariani (the white Kassim Osgood!), Adrian Peterson, Michael Turner, Steven Jackson, Devin Hester.
• Shaun Phillips had zero tackles.
• Kris Dielman was there, but you won't see offensive linemen in the box score. I did see him make a decent block on Charles' TD run, and he was also the first one over there to congratulate the young RB. That's good sportsmanship.
• Marc Mariani was fairly insane on kick returns, with an average of 36.2 yards per return. Devin Hester (20.0 yards per return) was impressed.
• Mat McBriar apparently kicked a 70 yard punt that was downed inside the opponent's 20 yard line. Awesome.
• Contrary to the title, although Philip was a star in the game his team did not win the game. The AFC Aggravators (they need names, don't they need names?) lost in their monumentous battle against the NFC Nancies, 55-41. The Nancies led most of the game by a wide margin, but Rivers and Matt Cassel led the Aggravators back to within striking distance before time ran out on their comeback.